·   ·  · Harry Potter and the ·  ·   ·

Harry Potter

and the Farce Be With You

The Harry Potter series has provided a great deal of enjoyment for many readers; children and adults alike. And over the course of its great success there has been a development of blind admiration, much like that for Star Wars, that has clouded the minds of many, and yes, including me—for a bit.

How is Harry Potter like Star Wars, other than both franchises making their creators a lot (understatement) of money? The similarity refers to the fact that the underlying success of Star Wars has hinged upon the initial wondrous feeling that it instilled in everyone from Episode IV, of how we all embody the Force—if we just believe. Yet a progression quickly developed that showed everyone with the force is somehow related, like some inbred royalty line—apparently not just a British thing. Oh and there were quite a few of those intergalactic villains with British accents. Another similarity to Harry Potter?

It was soon made clear that the inbred force was with Luke the Duke, Darth the Dad, Leia the Sis, and Uncle Ben the Kenobi. Then suddenly, decades later, Episode I revealed that the Force is actually the result of an infection or some rogue gene. So maybe Yoda was not just short but short for GMO duh. This force destroying decision by Loony Lucas effectively eliminated all magical feelings of snuggly inclusion pressed into the collective psyche of the entire planet from our introduction to Luke. Yet the disoriented fans, who deep down know that something is amiss, trudge onward in mob zombie like following, much like the Harry Potter fans. This could further explain the fascination with actual zombie stories.

As I became entrenched in the series of systematically released hard covers, I also developed a preference for the unabridged audio book versions of the Harry Potter stories. But having listened to them on occasion throughout the years I have come to discover some very interesting discrepancies and a rather disturbing realization that J K Rowling has basically insulted every reader, fan and ultimately all humans, since it is highly likely that most people are considered Muggles. And it seems fitting that WeThePupil.com is a good place to express some of these insights and therefore offer up a bit of clarity to help disperse some of the fog hiding some of those stinking masses that every audience member intuitively smells. And hopefully bring in a lot more fresh mind air when we Muggles finally move away from these silent but deadly gaseous farces.

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Money Charms

 

and the Pet Peeves

Although exceptionally performed, one glaring faux pas in the audio line up was that Voldemort became sort-of ... French, losing his "T" to become Voldemor until after the Prisoner of Azkaban escaped, (: no wonder he was T'd Off? :). Also looking back while listening to the words of the seven volumes showed me that the magical inclusion instilled by Rowling through the development of kinship with the boy under the stairs, was all just a ruse. When actual understanding sets in, Rowling shows that her entire magical community, including Dumb le Dore, barely tolerates everyone that is not magical, including Squibs.

Eventually the series reveals that the boy who lived is rather annoying and does not seem to include much of the empathy and compassion that usually arise from periods of suffering. Even more surprising is the supposedly deprived scar face acts much like a spoiled brat. Additionally Harry Potter's seven years at Hogwarts reveals that the author considers all of her fan base poor, untalented, unmagical, objects of curiosity. Much like how it is rumored Rowling treated the person who pulled the discarded draft of Harry Potter up and out of the trash heap to give it a chance over countless more squelched dreams. Given that extremely fortuitous chance J K was ultimately very successful in getting all of us Muggles to unfortunately aspire to be just like Potter The Rotter. It is a curiosity whether Rowling meant to interject that bit of truth through Peeves.

The entire Muggle population can take comfort, though, in that even the most powerful and talented of the magical community seem a bit lacking in intelligence. One glaring beam of that reality blasts everyone in the mind when considering that the Order of the Phoenix chose the very complicated and time consuming Polyjuice Potion over a bunch of vials of liquid luck when helping Harry on his last journey from Privet Drive. If they all just downed some Felix Felicis Fred would not have lost his ear and basically all would have had a wonderful day. Except VoldemorT unless of course he and his subjects chose to be Luck Eaters for a few hours. Spells would have shot askew all over the place, not one witch, wizard or villain scathed, except for maybe some poor innocent unaware Muggles.

There is another rather painfully serious idiotic story move—actually the premise for the entire Harry Potter series, seriously—that was interjected for the sole purpose of creating serious drama that would have been thwarted if the character of, you guessed it, Sirius acted, well, in character. For if so, he would have absolutely never entrusted Pettigrew as secret keeper.

For more seriously lame cooked up unnecessary drama, how about that special mirror Sirius gave to Harry, and for some stupid selfish brat reason the Potter chose not to even appreciate it enough to look at the back of the gift that had all kinds of explanatory writing. But he did decide to jump through the much more difficult array of hoops to get some seriously more dangerous face time with Sirius in a flaming pile of ash. And why is it that Sirius chose not to blurt out to the lightning bolt imbecile, "use the mirror I gave you. It's a million times easier and we can talk more privately in your room". Then there is the fact that Sirius didn't just use the two-way mirror himself by occasionally yelling, "hello, Harry, two-way mirror in trunk, under a smelly sock. Yo, Harry open up this trunk! Harry, wake up!" Yet the entire Sirius debacle further helps to reassure us Muggles that the so-called magic folk are not too bright.

And what about this supreme evil doer of the Dark Side, sound familiar? He certainly went to a great deal of effort to learn how to mince his soul, but never happened across a few Hallows, or how to make a Sorcerer's Stone, or down a year supply of Felix Felicis? How about that Time Turner? And those omnipotent house elves who would have willingly wreaked havoc. Also why not imperio some venomous insects or a virus or try a favorite Muggle harming tactic of which there are eons of historical events to choose from.

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California Quarter

 

and the Broken Wands

The following list is a magically brief sampling of the many elements that just do not make any magical sense. As if J K Rowling convinced Sir Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington and The Bloody Baron to Ghost Write but then they all refused to glide through the walls occasionally to keep the remains in synch.

¬   noisy apparating and disapparating seems to develop later in series, with a loud "POP".

¬   Invisibility Cloak can hide the wearer from Death, but not Moody's Eye or the Marauder's Map, yet near the end of the series, everyone seemed to forget that.

¬   Animagi Ability would be a great skill for anyone. If three students can do it…

¬   Didn't Peter Pettigrew kill Cedric? Why is it then that Harry kept accusing Voldemort?

¬   Internet was in full swing but Diagon Alley was too perpendicular, and Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang—all out of range.

And for you know who

¬   Marauder's Map Like Objects; apparently another student concoction.

¬   Moody's Eye or some other all seeing eye.

¬   Again ~ How about those omnipotent House Elves.

¬   Atom Bomb.

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Thoughtstrip

 

and the Crumbling Castle

J K Rowling did create a very fun grouping of words to experience, and in fact worked very effectively on some intricate details which involved several long story lines with a particular favorite, the Snape Reveal. And the wonderful realization that the beautiful shimmering doe was the expression of his ingrained love for Lily Potter, was also, likely, very Muggle tear revealing. Yet upon revisits to the series, Lily is just as annoying as Harry. Which lends no surprise that she would end up with the King of Gits James. Who I am certain an honest Ron Weasley would equate with a baboon's backside. Thankfully there was Ron and a teeny sprinkling of characters that do seem worth emulation—Hermione, Hagrid, Luna and, of course, Professor McGonagall stand out. And although many others offer up beautiful insights and intrigues that are worth contemplation, their inconsistency and shallowness and arrogance are more or less just a some total of blah, and not worth much more thought after this. Kind of like Jar Jar Bings, what was the point?

It is just so very cool to experience stories that are well orchestrated. Like the movies Holes and Bad Words and Now You See Me and It's A Wonderful Life. Alternatively to experience stories involving such great effort expressed into details mainly meant for possible products, end up fading and diminishing any future value on the entire series and instill an ultimate repulsion of all franchise growth, or rather, Star Warts. And more importantly to actually lose that sparkle of magic that first glimmered forth from such potential is actually quite disheartening and sad. It is as if with the attainment of wonderful success and its steadfast friend freedom, Rowling and Lucas just put forth a great deal less effort. A very real and not so magical explanation is that when some people gain what is called "stupid money" they just get more stupid.

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VOIDraw

 

Be A Genie

Teachings throughout the ages have expressed that every individual can in truth Be a Genie, ultimately activating a unique perspective of magical force. So the force is always with you and each of us. Therefore may we all realize our own magic.

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